Every morning, the scenario for boarding the subway was the same as always; only the people who, over time, became more desperate and selfish changed. Since those who arrived first in line could be seated and the last ones would have to make the trip standing, those who did not want to get up five minutes earlier or were late when ordering coffee just had to hurry up their steps. Even inside the train, everyone’s intentions could be clearly seen, regardless of age or gender; they all felt tired enough to prolong the pain in their bones, and no one was going to get up to give up the seat they had worked so hard to occupy.

   Rebeka felt the need to stop those running and explain to them how bad it looked for society and how selfish they were being when they didn’t get up early enough to be first in the first place, but knowing she couldn’t change the nature of a rat who only ate and defecated made her limit herself to thinking:

   ‘It’s not like I want to get there first to have the courtesy to give the seat to whoever needs it more than me either, it’s one thing to think about what’s right and another to do it. It is better for those in a hurry to take a seat, especially when they have coffee in hand. Theydo me a favor by not taking up so much space, so they can spill the contents on them and not on people like me. Changing the subject, we are separating, he and I.’

  The long-awaited contact never happened between the two hands, while those going in the opposite direction came between Rebeka and Omar.

   ‘Sometimes, when you walk among people, if you look resolutely at the side you want to go to, they won’t get in your way. But if you look at the ground, people can make inconvenient decisions for you. Omar doesn’t even have to look where he’s going; with his body, people make space for him, while I have to furrow my eyebrows and impose my presence. I miss my bed, my sheets, and my pillow. Why do you have to get up and fight so many people five times a week? Omar, I need you to hold my hand and brighten my day.’

  After finding her shoulders slumped and heaving a sigh, Rebeka decided to puff out her chest as long as she could lift her chin and continue forward.

   ‘Rats who walk against youth, dare to stand in the way! They are envious of our bodies. You think you have the right, and you think we owe you respect. You are all so irritating, so much so that you can disappear if it were up to me’ she thought, after changing a tired tone to one that gradually raged in her mind.

 With her thoughts on the outside, Rebeka totally changed the projection of herself that she exposes to the outside, causing more people to get out of her way. Who would dare clash with someone who was ready to fire complaints as soon as given the chance? Along with this, under the roof of the train station, the sounds grew louder.

  The barking of small ill-tempered dogs sounded constantly, accompanied by complaints from some old woman, as she fought irritably to be knocked to the ground. The cries of disconsolate babies being pushed into cars. The noise of people talking on the phone, of those laughing among themselves, the coughing of sick people and those humming or whistling melodies in the wind.

   ‘Even with strangers and noises between us, he feels so close, and I can tell today is the day. I want to breathe and close my eyes, just to hear him, to hear his footsteps and the sound of his clothes moving away and around the stream of people, just to get back to being behind me. But still, with so much noise and distractions, this distance is abysmal. Oh, happiness, let me breathe. This nonconformity is what keeps me from happiness. To be happy, I find myself wanting what is not between my hands, but I forget that what I already have was something I once also wanted to have. How many times did I not wish that there existed in this world, so wrong and meaningless, someone like him? At the time, I was content with just having the chance to share the same sky as my ideal guy. If so, I must settle for what I have as the best and deny that I love him too.’

  After crossing a block or two, passing several benches, and crossing the lights of stores offering fast food, Rebeka began to despair as contact became more and more impossible.

   ‘Conformity is the basis of stagnation. Selfishness and necessity are the drivers of development. This society is the most vivid example of this concept. Just look at those who live better and are happier and see how they are selfish, ambitious, nonconformist, and fighters. By settling for just seeing him, being by his side in the shadows, and waiting for his eyes to be able to see me, I risk losing countless things. For example, their first kiss, their first time together, and their new experiences as a couple. Yes, I would appreciate an experienced guy to take care of me, but I would already be tainted by someone else’s habits. He would kiss me like he kissed someone else, fuck me like he did someone else. All while I was waiting for him to decide for me instead of someone else. My conscience wouldn’t be clear.’

   Taking as deep a breath as she could, Rebeka filled her movements with life and walked as if she were floating through the air.

    ‘For that very reason, I put on the sexiest panties I have in my arsenal, and I’m also wearing my shortest skirt. Leave him behind, and he can see my legs, maybe a little more if I make a small oversight. Now that my hand is waiting for his hand, I would be willing to let the wind do its whims and have an oversight.’

   As if she had also caught the happiness that motivated the brown-eyed girl, a gust of summer wind seemed to come down from the sky and caress her contented face before she continued her stride.

   ‘With this breeze, I’m sure he could smell me if he wasn’t too focused on seeing my tail, but that’s not enough. I have to be even more adventurous,’ she thought.

  The subway stop heading downtown was already just ahead, and the operator was announcing thirty seconds until the train arrived. The perfect waiting time so that any awkward silence wouldn’t dare to be born, in case she had to stay waiting.

   ‘I know he’s watching me, and I just have to wait for the perfect distance in 3, 2, and 1” as she glanced sideways at Omar.

  Rebeka bumped her shoulder into a passerby, a person who looked like he was returning home after finishing a late shift. Rude and without the best attitude, the fellow said to her:

  “Be more careful, for God’s sake!”

  “Oh! I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, and she bowed her head as a sign of respect.

  As soon as the citizen continued his pace, muttering between his teeth, Rebeka took her hand in the direction of her hair to draw the expression of someone surprised and worried. 

   “Omar! I dropped my barrette, help me find it!” she said aloud.

  She paused in place and looked at the ground again, as she thought:

    ‘As I have read, the first step to be taken in the arts of seducing a man is to make him owe you a favor or you owe him a favor. A seemingly selfless helping hand from one individual to another can lay the perfect foundation for the foundation of romance. In this case, following that guideline, if I am going to admit that I love him, I would rather owe him a favor, show myself vulnerable, give him the opportunity, and end my bickering attitude towards him. Relationships that are born out of fighting, I don’t think, end well.’

  Approximately three seconds passed, and her gaze could not catch sight of the hairpin that had fallen out of her hair, nor could she see Omar straining to find it.

  ‘Maybe I should have spoken a little louder and sounded desperate. What’s done is done, and I have confidence in the boy I love. I know he’s been watching me meticulously, waiting for an opportunity like this. His manly instincts are going to click, and with this, he’s going to help me; after all, a moment like this doesn’t come around twice. The perfect opportunity, the prince who rescues the damsel, the hero who saves the day’ she thought, at the same time as she searched the floor.

    Omar stopped short to avoid crashing into Rebeka. She broke her bent position and stood up straight, paying absolute attention with her eyes, after noticing that something had happened that she hadn’t intended.

   ‘All this time, you’ve been paying attention to your damn phone instead of me, to my skirt, to my smell, to my person. Calm down, all is not lost, I can still ask you again to help me get my pin back. I can’t use this as an opportunity to claim you, I’m mature, I’m all grown up.’

    ‘Oh, wow, I heard the sound of my pin being crushed by the shoe of a rat, the fattest and heaviest rat in the whole damn city. It feels fantastic. But no, I’m not going to fight; my heart craves violence and blood, but my self-control will hold up just fine...’

  “What’s going on?” asked Omar, who stopped answering the phone in his hand, to raise his eyes and make eye contact with the president.

  The phone he was holding was a modern, oversized touchscreen phone with four rounded prongs. That device was still on, and she sat at Rebeka’s chest level.

    ‘Great, that question, coupled with your stare, makes me so irritated I swear my blood boils. ‘I better take a deep breath and lower my gaze,’ she thought calmly, until her eyes locked onto the lit screen of the electronic device Omar held in his right hand. ‘What the hell does that message with hearts and kisses on your damn phone mean? Who is she? Who the hell gave her permission to text you?!’

  With a flick of his thumb, Omar turned the phone off as quickly as he realized the screen was exposed to the view of the girl in front of him.

“Are you okay? You dropped a barrette; what color?” he asked, at the awkward demeanor and silence he was receiving from the chairwoman, whose facial expressions were obscured.

    ‘Isn’t this feeling so nostalgic? The world around me is losing its colors. He keeps talking, but his voice is no different from the rest. I must calm down. Patience,’ she thought, ‘He turned off the phone as fast as he could, it means he has respect for me. I didn’t see him answering his messages either. I’m sweating, it’s not good for my skin, my face might redden too; and I might look nasty. What color is the barrette? My ears don’t deceive me, and he really asked me so blatantly about the color of my most precious bracelet.’

  “Ha, ha, ha, ha, that was definitely not a question,” she said, after launching discreet guffaws into the air.

  Omar took a step back, swallowed dryly and took a deep breath. He was so uncomfortable with the president’s behavior that he ducked his head to hide his face.

    ‘I really must have been imagining it, but it wasn’t my imagination. Oh, you were the one I thought was going to make me happy. It will cost you dearly to pay more attention to someone else’s messages than to mine. I really don’t understand how I can feel so disappointed. I assure you that when you want to answer the messages of that one who wrote you, your damn phone will be getting smashed by the train. You idiot. Idiot. Idiot! I’m not going to cry over someone like you.’

  “Forget it, it doesn’t matter anymore,” she said loudly, with a grin from ear to ear, one so big that even her eyes were closed with such a happy expression. “Oh, the train!”

  Omar watched as the president turned and hurried her pace in the direction of the train, and he felt a cold sweat trickle down his forehead. The words he had heard definitely had a contrary meaning, just like the smile he saw. “Forget it” translates to ” you won’t understand”. ”It doesn’t matter” could mean “apologize to me right now.”. “The guffaws and happy expression” technically emanated uncontrollable rage from the pores. “That was definitely not a question” meant “why don’t you just die?”. Still, they were very specific translations that a boy like him could imagine but not understand.

   ‘At least my bra was the best option to prevent this kind of situation. Running with my loose hair covering my right eye is not very comfortable. He must be following me and must have kept the phone in his right pocket, you’ll see,’ she said to herself, well irritated.

  After going through the small labyrinth of ropes and metal bars intertwined to make the waiting line more organized. Rebeka was able to stand behind the last few who were about to enter the train.

   ‘Once we’re inside the carriage, I’ll wait for the moment to take the phone from him, I need to take it out on something.’

“Oops, sorry,” said someone, who stumbled and pushed whoever was in front of him.

 “Just a little more, and we close the doors” announced a security officer.

  Among the last places were Rebeka and Omar, who were well worried about being able to move forward among the people who did not want to move, despite having enough space to keep moving. From one movement to another, she stayed among the individuals in front, since they had the way closed to her, while Omar continued to move forward. Leaning on his body, he did not mind inconveniencing some and moving others.

  While Omar managed to get to the front, Rebeka fixed her eyes on what would be his prey. For men, one of the disadvantages of having tight pants is that if the phone they carry is too big, a part sticks out of the pocket, is exposed, and can be grabbed. An ordinary person can’t focus on several tasks at the same time, he is more likely to ignore a minimal sensation of movement inside his pants when he is forcibly moving between people pushing him back.    

  ‘Perfect, now let me stay away from him. I don’t want to arouse suspicion or have anything more to do with that bastard, he’s just like the others,’ she thought as she successfully withdrew her hand with the device, and as soon as she approached a window, she absentmindedly threw it away.

After looking at the ceiling, she tried to control the tears that wanted to come out. Knowing that she had done something wrong in order to feel better, what frustrated her most was not feeling good.

  Along with the sound of the train’s electric doors being closed and the words of the operator announcing the train’s departure to downtown, a man’s voice could be heard saying:

  “Someone has seen my phone!”

 “Sir, the train is leaving. There is nothing that can be done; for your safety, stay behind the line,” said the uniformed station security officers.

  Rebeka could recognize the man who was looking for her phone, who was the same man she had bumped into when she set out to drop her hair. It was a rather odd situation, to tell the truth. ‘Maybe, karma?’ she said to herself as the train began to move, and with this, some people began to protest that Omar was on his way back to where she had been left.

 ‘Mmm, did he realize I took his phone? No, impossible; maybe he thinks he dropped it and is going back to look for it’ she thought as she hid her gaze.

  Willing herself to act as if nothing had happened, Rebeka felt the boy’s towering body come up behind her.

  “I’m really sorry about what happened with your hair, Barrette,” he said in a trembling voice to Rebeka. “And that I took a picture of you while you weren’t looking. I don’t want you to think I’m someone weird, please. Just hear me out first, and we can talk about it.”

‘He’s... nervous,’ she thought after feeling her heart about to pound out of her chest. ‘He’s sweating. A picture of you, someone weird... we can talk about it. If he noticed, why is he apologizing instead of complaining?

  Looking down at the ground among the crowded people, the metal surface of a phone came into view, protruding from Omar’s left pants pocket.

  ‘Mmm? He’s got another phone next to the hand holding his coat. Why in the world would a guy have two phones? Besides, what picture did he take of me?’ She said to herself and then said aloud to him:

   “I don’t have anything to say to you... Give me your other phone.”

 Due to the sound of the moving train, it could not be noticed that Rebeka’s voice was trembling and sounded scared. On the other hand, Omar showed what could be called a real frightened face, so much so that one could see her intentions of wanting to leave from there. But the train was closed and moving, and all the passengers stood as if they were sown to the ground. To top it off, as a man, he would have to clean up his image.

  “No! No, please! Anything but that. I couldn’t live if you broke it,” he replied, like a little boy who had done something wrong.

  ‘Mmm, his needy, pleading face is so adorable, I think I’m going back to a good mood. But he is aware that I destroyed the other device, and he still begs me. I can’t let my voice falter again; it wouldn’t be good for the outcome of this negotiation,’ she thought after adding aloud:

   “Give me the cell phone, Omar!” What were firm words turned into a shout that Rebeka unintentionally made heard?

  The boy stood in place, transfixed, breathless, and white as a sheet of paper.

  “What are you waiting for?” She insisted again in a more commanding voice, “Omar!”

  One of the old ladies, right in front of the chair, with a willingness to help the enraged girl who was demanding something from a criminal almost twice her size, added in a low voice:

“Is he bothering you? Do you need me to call the authorities?”

 Rebeka answered the old woman’s questions:

  “No, I don’t think we need to go that far do we, Omar?” Using the kindest tone, she could employ in such a stressful situation and lighting up her face with a smile, she did her best to reassure everyone whose attention had already been called.

  The old woman put her glasses back on and lowered her gaze to continue reading the book she held in her hand, entitled “Gilgamesh the Great, Still Among Us.”.

After looking at Omar again, she totally changed the expression on her face. The boy swallowed dryly and clutched his pocket even tighter.

  ‘It’s been over two minutes now,’ she thought. ‘Everyone seems less interested in our conversation, and he’s squeezing his pocket even tighter, but when is he going to accede to my demands?’

   “Only if you promise me, you won’t break it." Omar cleared his throat and spoke in a regretful voice, looking down at the girl’s rising hand.

  “Okay, I promise...” she replied, agreeing to the request.

  By the way, as a girl she was, “I promise” could mean: “If I see messages from another, I will definitely throw them out the window. I will keep my promise, but the chances of it getting lost are very high.” Interpretation by which Omar grabbed another handrail with his left hand and with his right, despite being somewhat awkward, pulled out the device he so badly didn’t want to let go of to offer it to the president, whose angry facial expressions were enough to cause nightmares.

  ‘Perfect. I’m so excited, it’s like having a gift in my hands. Nowadays, someone’s phone is the most precious thing. And I have his phone. I feel like I have his heart in my hands. By opening it, I can see the contents... Oops!’

  The lit screen was guarded by a padlock that required a password to open.

 “What’s the password?” she demanded.

 “No, please don’t. I’d rather you break it,” he said. “Better break it; throw it out of the window; indeed, I’ll break it for you. 2

  In desperation, he tried to take from the girl what she had given him. But as Rebeka was already prepared, using agile movements, she prevented him from doing so. She had already missed a boy using his more dexterous hand to give her something that was in the opposite pocket.

  “The password?” She demanded again, this time lowering her voice as if forcing herself not to shout, “I don’t want to keep repeating it or making a scene. Take responsibility for your actions and behave like a man, with maturity.”

   “Break it, I beg you,” he said.

  Rebeka had not the slightest intention of letting go of what she had obtained; rather, she praised his caution in remaining attentive to Omar’s change of heart. Still, in the face of closeness, her attitude was changing. She wanted to sound firm, but having him so close and seeing him so needy was making her loosen up. Plus, the struggle of trying to take and protect could feel like foreplay before sex.

   With clothes in between, the two bodies were thrusting and rubbing against each other in a slightly different attempt at clothed mating. 

 “Hey!!! You two! Stop the childishness!” demanded an older gentleman between his teeth, someone who had been pushed back and forth for quite some time now and had run out of patience to keep putting up with it.

  Omar calmed down, apologized, and resignedly said:

 “Your name.” 

  He couldn’t win, he was at the mercy of whatever the president of his class could come up with.

  “What? I couldn’t hear you, what was the password?” She said, blushing and somewhat disappointed, that the grappling would stop. Feeling horny, her body demanded to keep being pushed from behind by the boy’s hips, and after letting her libido speak, she uttered the following words: “Come closer, say it in my ear...one more time.”

   ‘I may be a freeloader, but... what could be more erotic than being fucked from behind and having your name called in your ear?’

  “The password to get into my phone is...” In a whisper, Omar moved to her neck and said,  “...Rebeka.”