Chapter 13
Chapter 12: Suicide is for Cowards
Omar, as soon as he realized he had been discovered, moved from one side to the other as if he wanted to take distance. With desperate expressions and movements, the boy threw himself from where he was with the intention of not resting his feet on the ground and supporting the weight of his body with the rope around his neck.
Dying in silence was a difficult task, but apparently, he was determined to do it.
“Somebody, help, please!” cried Rebeka, who, with what little strength she had, hugged her boyfriend’s hips and tried to lift him up.
Without stopping screaming, Rebeka, in desperation, from time to time looked at her beloved, who was hanging himself, and his face was already turning between red and blue.
“Climb on my shoulders! Lean on me! Please don’t leave me alone! I need you by my side.!” With her words, the young man was still not using his hands to hold on, and although she was clumsily doing so, he was trying to give himself up to death without moving. Rebeka understood that, with crying and pleading, he would get nowhere; after all, his twelve interviews failed in that manner. “Omar! Listen to me well; if you die, I promise I will throw myself under the wheels of the train. It won’t be pretty, but it will be your fault.”
Hearing the angry words of his beloved, the charge of conscience that Omar had was so great that he literally came to his senses. Because of the commotion and shouting on Rebeka’s part, some people stopped outside the park, but they only decided to watch; there was no one to help. The one who did the most was calling the authorities and giving the address of the place out loud.
Omar, imagining his beloved being run over, grabbed the rope with his hands and, using what little strength he had left, eased the tension between the knot and his neck, which allowed him to free himself from the necklace he had made and fall, together with his girl, onto the sand of the park.
Rebeka was shaken by the situation. Her hair stood on end, and she looked at her beloved with anger in her eyes. Clenching her fists, she had to shout a torrential amount of insults at him in order to repress the desire to hit him because of the fright she had received.
Instead, Omar continued to writhe on the floor as he breathed like a fish out of water, repeating one word:
“I’m sorry.”
Returning to the present, Rebeka looked around her. There were more and more people; none of them approached, perhaps for fear of getting their shoes full of sand or that something would happen to them, but they all did the same thing. First, they asked curious questions about the situation to those who seemed to know, and then, when they pretended to understand what the event was about, they gave their opinion about it.
“It’s best if we leave. The authorities must be on their way to question us,” Rebeka said to Omar, who was hugging her leg with the intention of crying and not being seen. “Staying alone would bring us more trouble at a time like this. Can you get up and walk?”
At the last question, the young man nodded his head.
Putting aside all the anger and disappointment she felt inside, Rebeka proceeded to stand up. The situation had frightened her, and she was not happy with Omar, but she also understood that she still didn’t know the reason why her boyfriend had made that decision.
‘It’s pathetic for a man to try to commit suicide,’ thought Rebeka as she helped Omar to his feet. ‘It’s not attractive at all, and even less so when he apologizes in such a miserable way. But I couldn’t tell him what I thought; I recognized that I’m angry at the moment. I also know that I tend to regret a lot after I say something in this state.’
After setting off in the face of hands pointing at them and voices shouting that they should stay until the authorities came, Rebeka guided her beloved’s steps.
“Don’t you dare touch me!” said Rebeka in exasperation to one of the individuals. “When I asked for help, you did nothing, and now you want to make me stay until the authorities come for your personal entertainment so you can say that something novel happened in your miserable and pathetic life. Don’t make me laugh. The same goes for all of you; if you are no different than this ‘guy’ then you are the same.”
At the angry words, Rebeka and Omar made their way through the crowd, who could do nothing but be disappointed and grumble at the things the younger ones were supposed to say and do out of respect for the older ones.
After walking a few blocks, they even left behind those people who followed them, but the bad news is that some of them knew her perfectly well, as well as Omar. It was enough for them to give the names to the authorities.
Yes, it was only a matter of time before the authorities came after them, with the intention of asking some questions. Sure, in a better place and somewhere else, one could think of a convincing excuse, but for the moment, Rebeka’s house was the only place to which he could return without being tormented by accusing stares and fingers.
‘With the authorities present, meanwhile, I’ll also have to see my mom, who must be so excited to congratulate me on my birthday. Ahh, I can just imagine her yelling at me, all because I have a boyfriend. But that’s all I have left,’ she thought busily after opening the front door to the garden of her house.
‘Mmm. The lights aren’t on,’ Rebeka thought. ‘Maybe it’s a surprise party, since the surprise is what he’s going to get when he sees me.’
Almost tugging Omar by the hand, Rebeka opened the door to her house, and after a few pushes and sudden movements, she managed to get her dejected boyfriend inside first. At least he would function as a meat shield, in case her mother had a hissy fit. However, Omar hadn’t stopped looking at the floor the whole trip, and as soon as he entered the house, he decided to lean his forehead against the nearest wall as long as he didn’t look his girlfriend in the eyes.
‘It’s weird; today is my birthday, and my mom wasn’t waiting for me to get home from school to go to work. She always asks for a few late arrival hours on this day, and usually, those hours are until twelve o’clock at night,’ Rebeka thought as she watched Omar stay calm and the clock read eight thirty at night.
After refocusing on the non-contributing attitude of the boy accompanying her, she decided to worry more about him than her mother. After all, taking care of other people’s problems was a good remedy for forgetting her own.
“Omar, stop sticking your forehead to the wall. Come with me; take off your shoes. Lie down on the couch with me, take a deep breath, and relax. Now, let’s talk about what makes you feel this way, but first, let me get you a glass of water,” she said. After which, for every word, she took action that contributed to improving her beloved’s situation.
In the process, she also took off her shoes and bra and gathered her hair with a garter, which was on one of the shelves, as she made her way to the kitchen. After opening the refrigerator, she grabbed the pitcher of water and noticed that the food she had left the day before had not been touched, indicating that her mom may never have come home.
‘A new boyfriend?’ she thought, as justification for her mother’s unusual behavior.
As soon as she filled a glass of water, she returned the pitcher to the refrigerator and marched back to the living room, taking care not to spill the contents on the floor. Just when she thought everything was better, Rebeka, with an optimistic attitude, lit up a smile on her face but stopped short when she found her boyfriend unable to contain his tears, covering his face with his hands on the sofa with his feet shrugged upwards.
With rage in her movements, she walked over to the couch and lifted Omar’s head to make him look her in the eyes. ‘In movies, I always see how the girl slaps the guy in this kind of situation, but just because he has the left side of his face swollen, I choose to control my right hand, already prepared to make him see reason,’ she said to herself. ‘Now that I see him better, he has the same clothes; he hasn’t bathed. Not only that, the reason I’m so angry with him is because I see myself in his eyes.’
Rebeka was aware that every time she was alone, her demons would make her cry if she didn’t find a way to be able to ignore them. Every time she fell into an emotional rut, she felt more and more guilty for being in that situation and not being able to get out on her own. It saddened her that the world was losing colors before her eyes, that everything felt the same, and that there was no one by her side who could rescue her when she needed it.
Omar kept averting his eyes, but Rebeka could understand something that had been invisible to her so far. Her boyfriend was also human and needed someone to continue to live and remain important.
“Omar, dry your tears and wipe your boogers. What happened in your house? Was the trouble you got into for not warning that you were spending the night out so big that you thought about taking your own life?” She asked, willing to listen and get straight to the point.
After taking a deep breath at his beloved’s question, Omar finally made eye contact and, while crying, began to laugh. A laugh that made him feel stupid, as it meant he was laughing at his own misfortune.
‘My question made him switch from crying to laughing... not a good sign,’ she thought, foreshadowing the worst, but what could be worse?
“My parents didn’t even notice my absence. My family never cared about me,” he said with bated breath.
As soon as he finished the sentence, he burst into tears again.
Rebeka was already getting desperate, for she wanted to know the whole story about what happened, but she also feared that it might not be the best time for Omar to be ready to tell what happened to him. With no choice but to be patient, she took a deep breath in, took a drink of water, and proceeded to sit down next to her beloved with the intention of waiting for her tears to dry up and finally being able to talk calmly.
“Come lie down on my lap,” she said, once she was well settled. “Cry all you want; it’s okay to be vulnerable with me. After all, it’s the greatest act of bravery you could show me.”
‘Over thirty minutes have passed and it still won’t stop. I’m worried about my mom, who’s still not arriving, not to mention my numb feet,’ she thought as she was about to fall asleep, looking at how slow the minute hand on the clock could be.
“Thank you,” said Omar, who seemed to have calmed down a bit.
‘Here’s my chance; while I tickle her hair, I must ask her the most important question I’m still holding back. I hope she doesn’t burst into tears again. Although, for some reason, seeing him cry so close to my chest makes me want to give him tea to calm him down, what things do I think about?’ She said to herself, To add aloud:
“Tell me, my love. Why did you try to kill yourself and leave me behind in this cruel and unjust world?”
“Because my plans to protect you were ruined. The outside world is not the same as school, and from my hands, I lost the best gift I could give you. I told you this morning that we could get married, so you could give up your family name and not be discriminated against because of the sentence your father carries. As you know, the mayor who was murdered was my uncle, and with his last name, everyone would love you,” he affirmed.
“This morning, when I arrived home, I overheard my father talking in his office regarding the case of the stolen phones from the train station. A phone reported missing was found smashed by the rails, and three prints were found on it, including one that matched the records—yours. They plan to hold you responsible and question you as soon as they contact your mother,” the boy said.
“At that point, I went into his office and tried to stop him. I told him that you were not guilty, as well as that the other pair of prints were mine and I could prove it. I also told him that I had stolen all the other phones and the reason why I did it. He didn’t even get mad; he just asked me if I loved you, and I told him the truth. At that moment, when I dared to tell him that I was willing to marry you and was seeking his approval, he hit me and said, "I was already afraid of such an atrocity. From this moment on, you are disinherited from my family name. Get out of my sight, stranger." My mother didn’t even give it a thought... If I commit suicide, the last words of the note I carry in my pocket will enter the system, which will clear up the suspicions about you. I don’t have the courage to see you crying again, and dying is all I can do,” concluded Omar.
Rebeka listened to her beloved’s words without interrupting him, and only when he finished speaking was she ready to say something:
“Suicide is for cowards; love has no price; it has value, and with value you pay for it... Stay by my side if you really want to show me that you love me. You know, I need you; you are already a man, and I am a woman. We were made together; at the same time, we can do this together.”
Rebeka’s calm voice was heard in the living room of the house. The faint sound of two soft lips kissing and the illuminating glow of a smile that tried to lift the spirits of the beholder flooded the room. As angry as she was, she could not help but see herself reflected in her beloved; after all, if her own plans had not been fulfilled so far, she might be in the same position as he was, trying to give up life as long as she could give up all suffering.
The darkness of the place was invaded by the lights of the authorities, and soon after, the sound of someone knocking at the door was heard.
Both Rebeka and Omar raised their heads at the sound and looked at each other amidst the lights coming and going.
“I think it’s time,” she said, barely swallowing dryly, as long as she could control the fright in her stomach.
The inside of the room was lit up with red and blue lights flashing, and the two stood up, heading for the front door.
“Love, take the note. If it’s the authorities, tell them the truth. Don’t lie for me; I don’t deserve it,” said Omar as he walked her to the door, anticipating that they would be taken away at the same time.
Without thinking twice and before opening the door, Rebeka put the paper in her mouth and, after chewing it several times, swallowed it, leaving Omar perplexed on the spot.
Before Omar could complain to her, she opened the door and, with her eyes scanned in the direction of the uniformed men standing there. One man was a man of advanced years, large, and although old, he still retained the characteristics of a disciplined body. The woman was of medium height, hid her face with the cap she wore, and carried her hands behind her back as if to keep them out of her way.
“Rebeka...” said the one who stood first, showing an authoritative badge on her chest. “You must accompany us to the station.”
As soon as Omar wanted to move forward, he was stopped by the second person, who had a feminine build, not very well highlighted by his uniform.
“The orders are with her. Please contribute to the favorable unfolding of this process. Wait inside the house and do not interfere with the authorities.”
“Love, do as you are told. Don’t worry about me.“
Rebeka saw how Omar looked up and gritted his teeth because the old man was challenging him with his gaze.
Resigning himself to the separation that indicated the farewell, Omar kept moving forward, and with this, he provoked the premature aggressiveness in the behavior of the female officer, who reacted and put her hand on one of the devices she was carrying on her belt. However, the older subject continued to watch her, having no reason to act or react but evidently looking for one.
“Omar!” said Rebeka, in a very angry tone.
After mentioning her name as a scolding, the boy stopped challenging the officer and stepped back while looking at his beloved. If he had had dog ears, at that moment he would have lowered them like a sad puppy who intended to take heed and not continue causing trouble.
After letting out a breath of air in relief, the officer relaxed her posture and stopped walking defensively to show the way to the patrol car outside. The subject turned around and proceeded to move forward.
‘Exactly, four o’clock in the morning, and I’m still sitting in an interrogation room. More than seven hours sitting here without sleeping, eating, or going to the bathroom... Is it really necessary?’ Rebeka said to herself as she looked around.
She was already tired of looking at herself in the mirror in front of the table. The huge glass reflecting everything must have had some other purpose than to make the white-walled room look bigger than it really was. After all, it was an interrogation room.
‘A new day looks like it will be less productive than the last. These guys are really taking their time; I’m sure they’re watching me behind the mirror.’
Tired of waiting any longer, Rebeka decided to speak up.
“You know? I didn’t have a nice day yesterday, and I’m already starting to get hungry, sleepy, craving to go to the bathroom, and cold. This is inhuman, so how about we start with”
On the other side of the mirror, there was a resounding sound, like someone pulling on a door. Then the glass became crystal clear, so clear that it could be compared to air, which we do not see, but we know it is there.
As soon as the man took a seat, the door behind him opened again to reveal a woman, who, unlike the uniformed man, seemed to be in a good mood to start the day, despite the large amount of papers in her hands.
Rebeka noticed that the uniformed woman was constantly bending her head down to fix her glasses, that she was walking carefully so as not to fall because her heels were bothering her, and that she was also taking care, by all means, not to provoke the fury of the man she was accompanying.
The uniformed woman sat down in front of Rebeka on the other side of the glass, and as soon as she arranged the papers she was carrying in her hands, she looked up to ask politely:
“Miss Rebeka, do you happen to know why you have been summoned to this interrogation?”
“No,” said Rebeka, who paused.
As soon as Rebeka answered, the officer, with his two hands, slapped the table and glared into the eyes of the interrogated woman to shout:
“Bullshit... Lying to the authorities is a crime, and you pay with jail!”
A subject who had at first appeared so cold and calculating while provoking Omar’s behavior, it made no sense for him to now become so upset, unless he wanted to put psychological pressure on her.
Rebeka held her breath and looked at the behavior of the subject, who evidently had reason to justify his words. The wall separating them may not have allowed her to see the other side, but it was not the same from the uniformed men’s point of view, since they could see more information as if it were a screen. She had not told lies, but by having an idea of what the reason might be and saying no, she provoked the reaction of the uniformed man, who, with his abrupt sound, made even the woman sitting next to him jump out of her seat.
‘This violence I didn’t expect,’ Rebeka said to herself, not stopping her tears from flowing. ‘To appear strong in front of people who are in charge, it’s better to let out everything I keep in me. And if she jumped with her partner’s behavior, that means he really is angry.’
“I’m sure. I’m not sure,” she continued speaking aloud, as one who intended to finish a sentence left half-finished and clear up the misunderstanding.
“Ahh, so you have more than one reason to be in this place. Won’t you tell the truth? I don’t have time for your tears,” said the guy, moving his body back and crossing his arms.
Rebeka looked him in the eye, intent on confronting a man who was clearly not there to help her.
”There are two reasons why I’m not sure whether I’m here or not. If it’s because of what happened in the park, we were just playing.”
“Park, my ass. Does this look familiar?” said the guy, as if he knew what had happened in the park and did not give it any importance; after all, they had not taken Omar. Nevertheless, he threw a smashed phone on the table.
As soon as Rebeka saw the phone, it made her face change from sad to disappointed. For her, it was the perfect moment to stand up to society and look down on the one who looked down on her. After all, that guy standing there was part of the system, someone who, to her, was part of the lowest class of vermin that made up society. Someone who relished the opportunity to degrade, prey, and exert his power over others.
“I don’t feel safe with you. I don’t want to see your face anymore,” said Rebeka as she crossed her arms and also pulled her body back.
“What?!” he replied, his face looking like he didn’t understand the situation, nor did he seem to understand what the screen was telling him. After all, he had expected her to feel guilty at the sight of the phone, not that she would blame the one who was pulling it out.
The uniformed woman, who for all this time had kept quiet, decided to take the initiative and speak up:
“I think you should leave us alone. The protocols in this case are different.”
“Do you think you are experienced enough? Machines make mistakes, and clearly, this is one of those cases. We should take the situation the old-fashioned way,” said the guy, as if he wanted Rebeka not to hear him after he moved to a corner with her.
“Yes, but things are different. Remember, my job here is as a witness to make this interrogation an unbiased situation. According to the testimony on the screen, you were wrong, and she is no longer a robbery suspect; she is a victim, and your behavior is not on point. Evidently, she will not continue talking if she does not feel safe.”
After the man reluctantly left, the uniformed woman was left alone with the questioned woman.
“Where is my mom?” asked Rebeka, with concern.
“I’m afraid to inform you that your mom is in the hospital; her condition is stable... She will only be under observation for a few days,” she said, barely taking off her glasses to look the interrogated in the eyes. As if it was her duty to tell the truth and not hide information.
The news left Rebeka devastated; a thousand things were going through her head as a reason why her mother could be having a medical problem. But knowing that she was stable calmed her somewhat.
“I can give you the name of the hospital, the address, and the room it’s in. I can also let you out of here as soon as possible. I just needed you to be strong and answer a few questions. You can answer with "yes” or “no.” "You can keep silent, and you can also add a testimony explaining the reason. I want you to know that in our eyes you have told a lie, and that already puts you in a very bad position. Do you understand?”
‘Yes’ replied Rebeka, to try to clear her mind on the subject of her mother and think. ‘It seems that I really can’t lie. But, perhaps, I can hide the truth.’
“First question: do you recognize this phone?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“Why was your fingerprint found on it?”
“Because I took it without permission and threw it on the train tracks,” she answered, continuing to think. “So far, so good; the questions are not very compromising.”
“Have you taken any of the other phones reported missing?”
“No.”
“Do you know where the other phones are?”
“No.”
“Have you stolen any other phones in the last five years?”
“No.”
“What was the reason for taking and destroying other people’s property without permission?”
“Because I got very angry...”
“Perfect. You want to add something.”
“Yes, they took pictures under my skirt with the camera on that phone.”
“Anything else you want to add?” asked the uniformed woman, leaning forward on her stand and paying attention to the words of one who spoke without telling lies.
“No,” said Rebeka.
“Rebeka, your testimony, by which you made a procession of other people’s property and destroyed it, is valid, but it cannot be verified by our system. Outside help will be needed for the verification process. If verification proves otherwise, miss, I am afraid to tell you that you could go straight to jail for having the authorities invade the privacy of a prominent individual in society and for defaming the reputation of the owner of the phone. Are you sure you want to stand by that testimony?”
"Yes,” replied Rebeka, knowing that, as with a gun, a phone, or any other device that was left unattended, it absolutely falls under the owner’s responsibility should it be used for bad purposes.
The uniformed woman looked intrigued by Rebeka’s words; at that point, usually people would not hold back from stating such an accusation.
“To end the case and adjourn. I request access to the photos from this phone on behalf of the questioned person on the premise of verifying whether there are indecent images of the same,” said the uniformed woman in the direction of the glass.
From the invisible wall at which Rebeka was looking, numerous projected images appeared, and a bar opened up with more and more pictures that had been requested. From the hundreds of thousands of images of naked women and men having explicit sex, posing for the camera, displaying, touching, and even mistreating their genitals came the last pictures, which, compared to the rest, were quite innocent. But in fact, on the front page, they were positioned, and the last images taken belonged to the view below Rebeka’s skirt. In the corner of the screen, the time and location appeared, which validated that they were taken of her.
“Do you want to press charges against the owner of the phone?” asked the uniformed woman, who swallowed hard and tried to ignore the pornographic horrors she had seen.
Returning to the moment, Rebeka paused at the suggestion; after all, said photos had been sent to a particular phone number. If she raised charges about her beloved's number, the situation would escalate with the imprisonment of all phone owners and Omar’s death sentence for stealing so many times.
“Only if the investigation against me continues,” Rebeka replied. “Now, I want to know the location of my mother.”
“Don’t you want justice to be done?” asked the uniformed woman, evidently putting her personal feelings on the scene.
“Justice? First, look at you and your partner. When there are real criminals, murderers, delinquents, and thieves out there, you’re out here trying to apply the ultimate law to someone like me for a missing and broken phone. I don’t want them to dwell on petty cases like this if they can investigate other things first.”
The uniformed woman took a deep breath and kept silent. Without another word, she jotted down the address on a piece of paper, and after waiting for a square slit to open in the middle of the glass wall, she passed it over so Rebeka could get it.
“I’m sorry it’s so late in the morning, that you couldn’t sleep, and that the system is as unfair and bureaucratic as it is, but with your grades and aptitude, you could very well apply and become what I am, as long as you make a difference,” said the uniformed woman, somewhat chagrined at the situation her partner had evidently caused.
“To oppose the system and then end up irremediably belonging to it,” commented Rebeka. “Don’t worry, it’s what comes with being the daughter of a criminal and someone who can’t defend herself. Sometimes, I think this society doesn’t want me to be any different from my father.”
After taking the paper note, Rebeka got up from the chair, gathered her things, and proceeded to take the path indicated by the green lights above the doors.